A Hair Band Classic with Something to Say about Parenting

Adults, do not take parenting as a chore.  It is a privilege.  Kids grow up fast.  While serving in the ministry for some time now, I have learned how delicate child development is.  I remember a little girl who came to our church when she was in the second grade.  She was a real sweetheart and had the face of an angel.  She was also very clingy too.  She grabbed onto my leg and would not let go on our Wednesday nights.  Church was likely a break from having to take care of herself.  I knew her parents had other things on their minds besides caring for her by spending time with her and giving her the love that she deserved. 

Like many parents, they split up and went their separate ways.  While looking for their own lives, they forgot that they were responsible to build up her life still.  She had to take care of herself.  When she saw her dad her face would light up.  But I don’t think that he had a lot of time for her.  It was maddening to watch.  She looked forward to seeing me for the rest of that year.  I made sure to spend time with her and tried to affirm her too.

The next year, I looked for her so that I could somehow fill a void in her life.  She was in the third grade then.  When I saw her, she had developed the attitude of a teenager.  Her angelic face had changed to the face of a hardened person.  She had become a mean girl.  She was no longer clingy and even ignored me and other adults who tried to pour into her life.  All I could think was that this did not have to happen.  I don’t know where she is now, but I know that all she needed then was someone to care for her. 

Parents, school, church, and other organizations for children cannot take your responsibility.  You are the foundation builders.  Here is a song by an 80’s Hair Band that captures what kids feel when parents leave and ignore their children. 

House of Pain by Faster Pussycat

It’s a little past supper time
I’m still out on the porch steps sittin’ on my behind,
Waiting for you.
Wondrin’ if everything’s alright,
Mama said,”Come in boy, don’t waste your time,”
I said,”I’ve got time. Well he’ll be here soon.”
Five years old and talkin’ to myself.
Where were you? Where’d ya go? Daddy can’t you tell?


I’m not tryin’ to fake it, and I ain’t the one to blame.
No, there’s no one home in my house of pain.
I didn’t write these pages and my script’s been re-arranged.
No, there’s no one home in my house of pain.

Wasn’t I worth the time?
A boy needs a daddy like a dance to mime and all the time,
I looked up to you.
I paced my room a million times.
And all I ever got was one big line, the same old lie.
How could you?
Well I was eighteen years and still talkin’ to myself.
Where were you? Where’d ya go? Daddy can’t ya tell?

Well if i’ve learned anything from this, shh, it’s how to grow up
On my own.


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Filed under Parenting, Youth ministry

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